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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24109192">Changes</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kiraaaa/pseuds/Kiraaaa'>Kiraaaa</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Punisher (TV 2017)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Aftermath of Violence, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Boys Kissing, First Kiss, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Kissing, Light Angst, M/M, Pre-Season/Series 01, War</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-03 00:54:26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,292</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24109192</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kiraaaa/pseuds/Kiraaaa</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>The first time Frank Castle meets Billy Russo, he looks small and frightened, but he's trying to seem brave.</p>
<p>That part never changes.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Frank Castle/Billy Russo</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>68</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>The Punisher</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Changes</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Once again, I leave roughly a hundred years between fics and then completely change fandoms!</p>
<p>So this is my first Punisher fanfic. I adore the series and on a rewatch, well, inspiration struck and this happened. I know the fandom is pretty dead due to the series being cancelled (sob), but this is for anyone else who still loves and misses Frank.</p>
<p>This is set pre-series, back when Frank and Billy served together. I know virtually nothing about the army, so if anything is totally wrong or doesn't ring true, feel free to let me know.</p>
<p>Since it's been a long time, I don't have a beta so this is just proofread by me as best I can. Please don't hesitate about pointing out any errors, I'd much rather know they're there and fix them!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The first time Frank Castle meets Billy Russo, he looks small and frightened, but he's trying to seem brave.</p>
<p>That part never changes. </p>
<p>****</p>
<p>They bond quickly, him and Billy. Of course, they're in the military, they're all brothers in arms, but Frank and Billy become <i>FrankAndBilly</i> very quickly. They're not kids, but if they were, they'd call themselves best friends.</p>
<p>He learns that Billy grew up in foster care. If you showed any sign of weakness, they'd have you for breakfast, or so Billy tells him. One time, Frank spots a scar on his shoulder - very little privacy amongst any of them, it's not that surprising. But Frank, loudmouth idiot he is, goes and asks about it.</p>
<p>Billy's eyes are dark and inscrutable at the best of times; right now, Frank thinks he's calculating. Maybe calculating the risk. Eventually he turns away, puts his shirt on.</p>
<p>"It was some volunteer at the group home back when I was a kid. Let's just say when a grown-ass man calls an eleven year old boy <i>'pretty,'</i> it doesn't lead anywhere good."</p>
<p>Frank never calls him 'pretty boy' again.</p>
<p>****</p>
<p>They're all his brothers. Frank knows all their foibles, how they unwind. Gunner quotes the Bible or prays. Frank plays guitar. Some guys play Scrabble or Chess, toss a ball about, or just clean and maintain their weapons obsessively. </p>
<p>Billy? He reads.</p>
<p>When they get mail, Billy never gets anything. He never even <i>expects</i> anything, just sits on his bunk reading while the others covet letters from wives, children, parents. Frank's starting to wonder who will be told if Billy dies. Anyone?</p>
<p>Next time he opens his mail, Frank produces a book. Billy raises a skeptical eyebrow.</p>
<p>"I'm impressed, Frankie Boy. I had no idea you could read."</p>
<p>Frank smiles. He's not stupid, but Billy knows that.</p>
<p>"Actually, <i>asshole,</i> it's for you," he throws the book at Billy, who deftly catches it. Of course.</p>
<p>Billy just stares at him. Sometimes his eyes look black and it always makes Frank nervous. Talk too much.</p>
<p>"I asked Maria to get you something. If I have to watch you read Moby-Dick one more time, I'll go crazy."</p>
<p>"So quit watchin' me read, jackass."</p>
<p>Billy still looks at his new book with an odd sort of reverence, though. His own books are dog-eared with worn covers and bent spines. With this one he's careful, even uses a goddamn bookmark.</p>
<p>Frank resolves to get Billy another book next time.</p>
<p>****</p>
<p>It's probably natural to have favourites, but Frank can't help wondering at how much better he knows Billy than the others. What does he know about Gunner, for example, except that he's religious? Virtually nothing. In fact, the first thing that pops into his head is Billy snarkily remarking, 'He seems fun.'</p>
<p>Billy's habits and quirks, he knows like his own. He knows that Billy's Brooklyn accent is much stronger when he's tired, angry, excited. Upset. It's weirdly charming, even if Billy's yelling. (Not at Frank. Never at him.) Frank knows the routines that keep Billy sane. Everything, from making his bed to his hygiene has an order, a rhythm to it. It's calming.</p>
<p>He's also noticed that Billy isn't sleeping.</p>
<p>"You know," it's a whisper, can't risk waking anyone else, and more importantly, can't spook Billy, "You once told me orphans can sleep anywhere."</p>
<p>"We can." It's hard to gauge any tone from a whisper, but it sounds guarded. Warning.</p>
<p>"So what's up, you okay? Why can't you sleep?"</p>
<p>"Who says I can't?" It's more of a hiss than a whisper, and even in the dark, he sees the glint of danger in those dark, dark eyes.</p>
<p>He goes to respond, but Billy rolls over, his back to Frank. A very clear sign to shut up.</p>
<p>Frank shuts up.</p>
<p>****</p>
<p>There's a huge stack of books by Billy's bunk. He's a voracious reader though, so Frank has to keep up the supply.</p>
<p>He could easily have Maria send Billy the books directly - hell, Billy could just get books by himself, no trouble - but Frank loves the warm feeling he gets when he hands over a new book to his friend. </p>
<p>As far as Billy knows, Maria chooses the books, but it's actually Frank. He chooses based on Billy's own books and what he usually likes. This time, though, he took a chance and plonked in one of his own favourite books (since he <i>can</i> actually read). He hasn't told Billy it's one of his own books, though.</p>
<p>One night, Frank notices a flashlight under Billy's blankets. He nudges the lump and Billy's head pops up out from under the covers as he switches off the flashlight. It's a real novelty to see Billy Russo looking so rumpled. Frank tries not to question why it makes him smile. Why he's savouring it.</p>
<p>"Whatcha reading, Bill?"</p>
<p>Billy shows him Frank's own book. His breath hitches.</p>
<p>"What do you think?"</p>
<p>"It's fuckin' weird, Frankie. Nothin' I'd pick out."</p>
<p>He's not crestfallen. Disappointed, maybe, but not <i>crestfallen.</i> </p>
<p>"I thought it looked okay," he tells Billy evenly. "I'll take it off your hands if you don't like it."</p>
<p>Billy pulls the book closer.</p>
<p>"I didn't say that."</p>
<p>He disappears back under the covers. The flashlight goes back on.</p>
<p>Tonight, Frank falls asleep with a smile on his face.</p>
<p>****</p>
<p>The first time it happens, Billy still can't sleep. Honestly, Frank's had enough. </p>
<p>Billy's staring at the ceiling as Frank rolls out of bed. His intensely dark eyes watch shrewdly as Frank starts shoving his bunk closer to Billy's.</p>
<p>"Wha-? Frank, what the <i>fuck-?"</i></p>
<p>He cuts himself off as Frank gets back into bed directly beside Billy.</p>
<p>"I sleep better beside my wife. Maybe you'll sleep better next to someone."</p>
<p>Billy stares at him for a long moment. Then he kisses him. </p>
<p>It's very sudden, just a peck on the lips, really. It's over quickly and Billy's staring at the ceiling again. Frank feels sure he imagined it. Probably best to believe that, anyway.</p>
<p>"Sleep." He says. Billy does.</p>
<p>****</p>
<p>The next time it happens is definitely not in his imagination.</p>
<p>Billy gets back from a mission looking absolutely wrecked. His eyes are blank and empty and he's shaking. Storming in without a glance at Frank, he starts tearing off his uniform like it's covered in flames instead of blood.</p>
<p>"Billy..."</p>
<p>Billy looks at him wildly but Frank doesn't know how to finish. <i>'What happened?'</i> seems insensitive; <i>'Are you okay?'</i> is stupid because Billy isn't. Of course he isn't. So Frank just trails off.</p>
<p>Billy marches over, bits of uniform scattered behind him. He's still shaking as he grabs Frank's face and kisses him. It's much harder than the previous peck. It's different to Maria. His wife isn't exactly gentle, but she never has stubble scraping his face. She never tastes metallic from blood, salty from tears.</p>
<p>Then it's over. Billy stalks off and Frank doesn't follow.</p>
<p>They don't talk about it.</p>
<p>****</p>
<p>The last time it happens is goodbye.</p>
<p>Frank is on the brink of complete ruin. He just punched his boss in the face. Punched him so hard, he fucked up his eye. Admittedly, that bastard <i>Agent Orange</i> deserved it and more. If Billy hadn't stopped Frank when he did...</p>
<p>"You would've killed him."</p>
<p>Frank just nods.</p>
<p>Billy stares, like Billy is wont to do. Frank will miss that. He'll miss Billy. At best, he'll get dishonourably discharged. He won't see Billy again. Sure, there might be reunions, and they might even go, but it won't be the same. It won't be like this.</p>
<p>So Frank kisses Billy this time. It's different, like it is every time. This time it's goodbye.</p>
<p>The last time Frank sees Billy, he's small, frightened and trying to look brave.</p>
<p>That part never changes.</p>
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